Satire: Tufts Adopts Position of Institutional Lethality
Earlier this year, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that the Department of War would restrict academic ties with Tufts University, along with nearly two dozen other top universities. Military fellowships at Tufts have been cancelled for the next academic year amid the department’s campaign against anti-American values. Mr. Hegseth said that the universities have […]
Satire: Special Feature on Sex Health at Tufts
The annual Sex Health Week is quickly approaching, so Francis Benedict, reporter emeritus, is spotlighting the courageous work of the Tufts Sex Health Reps. SHR, as it is commonly known, provides students with critical resources and advocacy for all their sexual needs. Their Instagram page provides expert analysis and advice in pieces such as “The […]
Ask João: Volume IV
Ask João is a column with a devoted following of college students who start every morning by reading the gospel according to João. He has made all of the mistakes so you don’t have to. To submit questions for advice in a future issue of The Tufts Tribune, email tuftstribune@gmail.com. This is the third volume […]
Ask João Returns!
Like a phoenix from the ashes, I have returned to Tufts University! I know you have all missed the word and wisdom of the Apostle João, and I am pleased to announce that I am back for another semester. In May, I graduated with a degree in computer science and a minor in finance. My […]
Rival Pre-O Groups FIT And TWO To Settle Beef In Turf War
The years-long feud between two rival pre-orientation groups is expected to be resolved this semester in an organized turf war. Fitness and Individual Development at Tufts (FIT) and Tufts Wilderness Orientation (TWO), the two pre-o groups based around exercise and physical activities, agreed to the terms of the fight after a days long summit held […]
Ask João: Volume II
Dear João, My 21st birthday is approaching and I have up until this point refrained from going out drinking. I have heard the debates about whether the Pub or the Burren is better and I am unsure what to make of it all. I want my first night out drinking to be a magical one […]
Ask João
Ask João is a column with a devoted following of college students who start every morning by reading the gospel according to João. He has made all of the mistakes so you don’t have to. To submit questions for advice in a future issue of the Tufts Tribune email tuftstribune@gmail.com. Dear João: My roommate has […]
Tufts University Ends Relationship with Non-Voting Delegate: A Satirical Perspective
Tufts University announced in mid-November that it would be cutting ties with Stacey Plaskett, the U.S. Virgin Islands non-voting delegate to the U.S. House of Representatives, over a decision not to vote on an amendment to H.R. 1449. The Amendment, which failed to pass, would have extended the timeline for determining geothermal drilling permit completeness […]