While college tales might be enough to fool you, sex is a touchy subject. Unfortunately, while it may take two to tango, the end result of sexual behavior between men and women is not equal. Despite how commonplace these conversations have become, how much sex you have, how many people you have it with, and how good it is, are considered taboo topics for women. Thus, it seems that women lose more than men gain from casual sex. For men, sex is a personal decision that accompanies very little shame outside of religious contexts. In fact, our culture often apotheosizes male sexual behavior. A gendered double standard pervades our conversations concerning sexual activity. This disparity exists because women have not reached true sexual liberation.
The commodification of female sexuality evinces society’s repression of it. Instead of sexual liberation allowing women the opportunity to engage in sexual behavior when they wish and with whom they wish—as their male counterparts electively do—little has changed about the scrutiny surrounding women’s sex lives. At the same time, the attempt at sexual liberation has succeeded in normalizing and promoting sex to such an extent that, now, a woman faces shame not only for having sex but also for not having it. In place of true liberation and autonomy over sexual behavior, we have been fed movies with raunchy sex scenes, magazines with risqué photos of celebrities, sexual vocations as vehicles of empowerment, and specious notions that feminism has won.
Though casual sex is nothing new, its prevalence is, and the cultural zeitgeist around sex has changed dramatically. Now that lascivious advertising dominates TV, and hardcore porn is accessible from any location via electronic device, sex has permeated our identities as young people. The solution to this cheapening of intimacy is not to discourage casual sex; even if this somehow succeeded, it would result in heavier shame around women’s sexual behavior, without decreasing the amount of sex had, as it is likely that the Pandora’s Box of sexual license cannot be closed. The solution lies in true sexual liberation, one that detaches shame from sexual activity by emancipating society from its obsession with sexual power dynamics. This liberation is not an endorsement of frivolous sex but rather an avenue to destigmatize normal, even healthy, sexual behavior.
Of course, casual sex has its pitfalls—chiefly, sexually transmitted diseases. If casual sex increases, won’t STDs follow suit? Don’t be so sure. Imagine a world where visiting your local STD clinic doesn’t feel dishonorable, where condoms are readily available to everyone (not just college students living on campus), and where “sex talk” is uncensored and destigmatized. Without the stigma of having multiple sexual partners, the conditions for sex would be far safer, and sexual education would become more comprehensive. Ceasing the need for secrecy would mean more informed sex for everyone, perhaps improving education so much that the overall STD rate would decrease despite the increase in sex.
In addition to safer sex, destigmatization of casual encounters would aid victims in navigating instances of sexual assault and rape. Total sexual liberation would offer women true empowerment and increased autonomy. With this autonomy, women could shrink the social equity gap between the genders. Sexual violence stems from a power imbalance, real or contrived, influenced by gender politics. While not all sexual violence is between a man and a woman, and women can take advantage of men, a shift in gender equality would ablate the incidence rate and the majority of sexual violence. Sexual liberation’s fruition would also make reporting these crimes easier, as it would destroy the shame surrounding promiscuous behavior that abusers are so dependent on to keep their victims from coming forward.
Full sexual liberation hinges on women taking control of their own pleasure. Capitalist society has commercialized female pleasure and presented it to women as something for them to achieve through products rather than something that a woman innately possesses. The beauty and wellness industries want women to believe they must rely on product after product—from dubious lingerie to snake oil supplements—to be desired and reach sexual satisfaction. Advertisers primarily focus on how their products affect others’ perceptions of a woman instead of her pleasure, reinforcing the antiquated idea that a woman’s attractiveness determines her worth. Casual, normalized sex is an opportunity for women to find internal validation and turn away from consumerism, as well as reclaiming pleasure on their own terms.
True sexual liberation demands more than simply a normalization of casual sex: It necessitates a cultural shift that dismantles the status quo’s double standards and power dynamics. Until society ceases to shame women for their personal decisions to participate in or abstain from sex, genuine autonomy remains out of reach. True liberation goes beyond encouraging promiscuity; it’s about empowering everyone to live more authentically.
Artwork by Nicole Mousad